Haiku:

[billy]

This will probably sound ridiculous, but to me the word "shat" feels too much like literary technique. It's slang, which puts it not a million miles away from metaphor. I think "shit" would sound better. The enjambment could also be changed to this:

"At my feet a lark.
It fell during summer thunder."

Overall though this is a funny and imaginative piece. I like the intrusion of narrative voice, adding humour to what is quite a tragic image. Thanks for the read, Bilbo

slang isn't metaphor. it's often a colloquialism, a word used in a certain area. in machester we would say, he shat his pants. we also say i shit myself or shat myself.

poets in japan used japanese words that meant something to them.
it's like crapping crapped or crap, which are also derivities of shit shite shat and shitted.

about the 'it' while the 575 syl isn't sacred, an it i think would be extraneous.

i could have wrote;

a lark
fell during summer thunder
i shat myself