12-11-2011, 11:43 AM
I can't remember who it was, but one of the Roman authors got into trouble with the law (most of them did at some point or another) and essentially said, "you can do what you like to my body, but I have made you a fool for eternity with my words". Writers have enormous power, given the motivation and opportunity. I love "in this mirrored land I'm Christ" -- it's brilliantly true.
I am not keen on "a plethora of images and truths" -- not because "plethora" is a bad word, but I blame many people before you for overusing it badly so that it's devalued in my head
Feel free to disregard...
I think the last line could be stronger. I very much like the idea of revising the past, but perhaps you could rub in their helplessness to avoid their literary fate a little more. I'm not entirely sure what to suggest at the minute though, I will think on it.
This is a very strong start, Jack.
I am not keen on "a plethora of images and truths" -- not because "plethora" is a bad word, but I blame many people before you for overusing it badly so that it's devalued in my head
Feel free to disregard...I think the last line could be stronger. I very much like the idea of revising the past, but perhaps you could rub in their helplessness to avoid their literary fate a little more. I'm not entirely sure what to suggest at the minute though, I will think on it.
This is a very strong start, Jack.
It could be worse