11-09-2011, 08:30 AM
Hi Geoff. Thanks for taking time to read and give some feedback. Don't apologize for your nits, they give me something to think about. I tried to hit all the points you mentioned.
mortifies as in embarrasses
in L5 if you replace 'loses her mind' with 'ran' that is the context that I am striving for (I'm not sure that makes sense
)
I'll consider 'dulled' I think you may be right.
Ignorant in more than one sense. The mother, the 'me', the throbs(like pulses in music/pulses in mood/pulses in humans) are ignorant because they are incapable, innocent and inanimate, respectively.
Thanks again.
mortifies as in embarrasses
in L5 if you replace 'loses her mind' with 'ran' that is the context that I am striving for (I'm not sure that makes sense
)I'll consider 'dulled' I think you may be right.
Ignorant in more than one sense. The mother, the 'me', the throbs(like pulses in music/pulses in mood/pulses in humans) are ignorant because they are incapable, innocent and inanimate, respectively.
Thanks again.