11-05-2011, 07:34 AM
"next to the comatose hamster
shrouded in a sports sock
that we hoped was merely hibernating
and not just dead."
Do you know, I (and a million other disillusioned poets) have said the same thing about poetry... hope it's hibernating and not just dead
Gone are the days when it used to run madly around a specially built enclosure with wheels and bells and people who paid attention. Still, at least someone was kind enough to keep it warm, stinky sock or no.
I haven't seen "agar jelly" written often, it's almost always just "agar" or "agar-agar" for the obsessive compulsives Agar implies jelly since that's pretty much all it can be. Getting rid of "jelly" would also make that line transition a bit smoother off the tongue.
"a jerk-off in a turkey baster" sounds odd to me, as we use "jerk-off" as an insult "Hey, jerk-off, why don't you get a hair cut?" (Ok, my insults are slightly tepid but you get the picture). So here it sounds a bit like "a wanker in a turkey baster"
Having got those little things out of my system, I am ridiculously happy to have read this poem. Absurdity is a sadly neglected art form and my neurons are madly firing off all sorts of silly connotations. I am so very pleased you managed to rescue this poor little chap.
shrouded in a sports sock
that we hoped was merely hibernating
and not just dead."
Do you know, I (and a million other disillusioned poets) have said the same thing about poetry... hope it's hibernating and not just dead
Gone are the days when it used to run madly around a specially built enclosure with wheels and bells and people who paid attention. Still, at least someone was kind enough to keep it warm, stinky sock or no. I haven't seen "agar jelly" written often, it's almost always just "agar" or "agar-agar" for the obsessive compulsives
Agar implies jelly since that's pretty much all it can be. Getting rid of "jelly" would also make that line transition a bit smoother off the tongue."a jerk-off in a turkey baster" sounds odd to me, as we use "jerk-off" as an insult "Hey, jerk-off, why don't you get a hair cut?" (Ok, my insults are slightly tepid but you get the picture). So here it sounds a bit like "a wanker in a turkey baster"
Having got those little things out of my system, I am ridiculously happy to have read this poem. Absurdity is a sadly neglected art form and my neurons are madly firing off all sorts of silly connotations. I am so very pleased you managed to rescue this poor little chap.
It could be worse