Wow. That first line already has so much charisma, and from then on it's gold "wandering with perfect limbs, exquisite genitalia, through the back garden" was genius, I swear 
. I, too, had reservations about the ampersand, but enjoyed imagining why the libertine narrator would prefer them (maybe he just likes writing the little curls?). My main nit was "football teams", which dropped me out of the mood a little bit... maybe "gladiators"? Just a thought though; there's really not much wrong as it is.
. I, too, had reservations about the ampersand, but enjoyed imagining why the libertine narrator would prefer them (maybe he just likes writing the little curls?). My main nit was "football teams", which dropped me out of the mood a little bit... maybe "gladiators"? Just a thought though; there's really not much wrong as it is.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?