Night sky:

[billy]

I'm going to go through the poem a verse at a time so as to make it easier for me to deal with. (the edits will also be in the 1st post.)
2nd edit including 1st verse:

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Flight of star-shine, shimmering
soft against black, an empty back-drop.
Myriad, yet singular in dynasty,

evokes passion
in soul and thoughts of man
on tranquil nights

edit 1st verse

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Flight of star-shine, shimmering
soft against black, an empty back-drop.
Myriad, yet singular in dynasty

Original
Flight of star shine holds my gaze
shimmering in a black back-drop, of velvet softness
myriad yet singular in awesome dynasty

ruling night heavens with majestic charm
lending passion, giving evocation to
soul and thoughts of man on tranquil nights

ever present light of distant pasts
guiding future with eternal illumination
as we, ponder self and unanswered questions

stars; essence of what we are
beauty of what we can achieve
reflection of ourselves in the universal mirror

their brilliance, brought to life by our existence
in their brilliance
we shine with definition