10-22-2011, 06:22 PM
This made me shudder, so I have to say the poem is effective.
It's an interesting cross pollination of introspection and train of consciousness.
[Gods burnt remains in silver foil;] This is an excellent, albeit horrible line. I've seen addiction up close and personal like - your use of God and Jesus are appropriate. A bitter savior for someone who can't care past the next fix. I can't help but remember a drawing I once saw of a crucifix inside a glass pipe. Above it was written "Can you smoke your Jesus?"
No crit, emotional response. Chewing over some synaptic remnants.
It's an interesting cross pollination of introspection and train of consciousness.
[Gods burnt remains in silver foil;] This is an excellent, albeit horrible line. I've seen addiction up close and personal like - your use of God and Jesus are appropriate. A bitter savior for someone who can't care past the next fix. I can't help but remember a drawing I once saw of a crucifix inside a glass pipe. Above it was written "Can you smoke your Jesus?"
No crit, emotional response. Chewing over some synaptic remnants.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?