10-18-2011, 02:07 AM
I asked myself this question: in the privacy of your own home, would you really say you enjoyed this? The answer was simple: You are in the privacy of your own home, and if you had, you would not need to ask the question!
That is not to say it does not contain interesting, quite striking elements: the hollow goose, the keys.
I was taken also by the way in which, even now, so much of what is written, contains references to Judaeo-Christian, or Hellenic mythology -- that is fascinating. Aish recently referred to Jewish customs for New Year, and Yom Kippur, and in his critique, Todd mentioned the Eucharist. Which brings me to the big line you have about 'This is my body and this is my blood'. That alone, I suspect, made it difficult for the rest of the poem to stand; since it is such a powerful thing, it needs powerful support. As is, it seems a bit like painting a fierce swastika, surrounded by pretty flowers, or photos of your aunties.
The last line is meaningless to me. It seems like as question which is misconceived. If, when I say, I am monarch of all I survey', I instantly acquired a crown and some vassals, which should not be inhabiting the world which we do. We should be in a world where rubbing lamps was a normal way of achieving one's goals.
Sorry to be so negative, and disagreeable-- but I am by nature disagreeable.
That is not to say it does not contain interesting, quite striking elements: the hollow goose, the keys.
I was taken also by the way in which, even now, so much of what is written, contains references to Judaeo-Christian, or Hellenic mythology -- that is fascinating. Aish recently referred to Jewish customs for New Year, and Yom Kippur, and in his critique, Todd mentioned the Eucharist. Which brings me to the big line you have about 'This is my body and this is my blood'. That alone, I suspect, made it difficult for the rest of the poem to stand; since it is such a powerful thing, it needs powerful support. As is, it seems a bit like painting a fierce swastika, surrounded by pretty flowers, or photos of your aunties.
The last line is meaningless to me. It seems like as question which is misconceived. If, when I say, I am monarch of all I survey', I instantly acquired a crown and some vassals, which should not be inhabiting the world which we do. We should be in a world where rubbing lamps was a normal way of achieving one's goals.
Sorry to be so negative, and disagreeable-- but I am by nature disagreeable.