Gardener

[Todd]

Hi Philatone,

I missed this initially. So, these comments will focus on the revision.

Gardener

At times like these,--not really needed. You could easily start on L2.
When flower boxes bloom above--Optionally, you could pull up birds
Birds of paradise,--If you do that adjusted break you could pull up I wish
I wish I were a gardener.

Today would be the day
I could see sprouts hatch from the porch
And I would feel like a sunburned and bearded captain--maybe bearded, sunburned
Gazing at the tiny islands strung
To the end of a long and salted periscope.--love this line

To be a gardener:
To find a home
Not in doors and water faucets
But in the green bursting
Of the earth.--love these two lines

I am drawn to their tapestries,
Woven in mulch and hedge stones.
I even admire the crumbs of earth
Sprinkled on their gloves

So much,
One day I looked for tools
To build my own quarter of Eden,

But all I found were two hands
Stiff as steel
And a sun too cold
Above clouds too dry.--again, two solid lines

I am upset no longer
For not having the touch
That lifts petals to the sky.

I only wonder
If these things happen to other people

Who search for a garden
Without a thought
To a single seed,
Or to the minute it took--minute doesn't quite seem right
To place it there,

And how many holes it takes
To lay a poem for tomorrow,
Or even
How much shade.

I enjoyed the poem. I hope the comments will be helpful to you.

Best,

Todd