The Middle

[Wildcard]

Hi,
   I think this is a well-written poem. The imagery is crisp and carries quite an impact. That being said, I thought there was a little too much repetition. The title might need to change to avoid rep. 'middle' and 'the west' and 'the east' meet one too many times IMO.

This is the middle, they say,
where the West meets the East. --I would cut this line entirely and save it for the end
A simple hill, parched
and swelled in sepia
golden and browns
under a tardy summer’s
violent scorch,
crumbling trees,
and all the grass’s green bled out.
One would think,
indeed, upon the divide:
that there was nothing much to see.

But beyond, all shimmering,
and glistening in
miniature
towering hives protrude,
mirroring shards of the Indian sun.
The gun-metal citadel,
whose chrome and glass lines
have softened in the desert
haze, so thick
it’s slurping.

Below on the straw,
the sweltering mass are itching.
A swathe awash, in juices
squeezed, and sluiced,
and flowing
in their own decadence.
A city erupted, burst forth
to pool and moulder
In this strangers heat
where the West
meets the East. --to me, the poem should end here. I has a nice feel to it when I read it this way.

So come join them,
revel, and drink in the middle of time
where they say the tick of the clock
met its tock.

But be sure to bring your camera.
----------------------------------------------
(In reference to Greenwich park I suppose)

These are of course just my opinions. I might add that I am not an extremely skilled poet by any stretch of the imagination, just trying to help.

Thanks for sharing.