10-09-2011, 09:37 AM
I can explain it... it's almost pure "tell", with quite a heavy hand. The only real irony employed is in the title and although it's a subject just begging to be satirised, you've instead gone a bit preachy, especially in the second and fourth stanzas. Sorry Jack, I can't sugar coat it, it's really not telling us anything new.
It could be worse
