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Tolerance
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10-09-2011, 09:37 AM
I can explain it... it's almost pure "tell", with quite a heavy hand. The only real irony employed is in the title and although it's a subject just begging to be satirised, you've instead gone a bit preachy, especially in the second and fourth stanzas. Sorry Jack, I can't sugar coat it, it's really not telling us anything new.
It could be worse
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| Messages In This Thread |
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RE: Tolerance - by billy - 10-09-2011, 09:17 AM
RE: Tolerance - by heslopian - 10-09-2011, 09:22 AM
RE: Tolerance - by billy - 10-09-2011, 09:28 AM
RE: Tolerance - by Leanne - 10-09-2011, 09:37 AM
RE: Tolerance - by heslopian - 10-09-2011, 09:49 AM
RE: Tolerance - by billy - 10-09-2011, 10:00 AM
RE: Tolerance - by Patrick Traveler - 10-16-2011, 07:33 PM
RE: Tolerance - by heslopian - 10-17-2011, 02:12 AM
RE: Tolerance - by bogpan - 10-20-2011, 03:08 PM
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