Tolerance

[billy]

apart from the enjambment and a a simile it's more or less devoid of any solid poetic devices (just my opinion of course) i see a half metaphor there and the doves in the end line but in general its pure narration that's carrying it. i think it's much better than much poetry on the net but by your own standard (that i've seen) it feels a little lacking, and no i don't think i can explain how or why.