Hunters Moon

[Philatone]

Hey mroning tide (note! these are based on the original!)

This is the month of the death of the father,
this is the month of desultory grief.
October, tensile, resonates to
the tarnished metallic despair
of unlove, blunt stabbed into the gut.

Agree with Aish about dropping the second "this is," from line 2. Playing with the line breaks could yield something interesting as well if you are keen on repetition. something like "This is the month of the/
Death of the father,/ Desultory grief" to play off of the hard /d/ sound, which can emphasis the melancholy tone. Also agree on shifting "blunt" to "bluntly." I don't have a lot to grab on here imagewise as a whole, it's abstract.

This is the month of undigested sin, I like this as well.
sitting in the mineral sharp stomach of October.
Cut adrift from all names, nights
lying exposed on bone cold streetsHere, I feel like you could really ground the reader on something as there is still little for me to hold onto concretely. Personally, I want a little more information about the streets
dowsed in bitter acid light,
cold and callous pure.

These are the nights of flickering film stills,
the chaff that blows unhomely in
unanchored hours. amazing line for me!

I have danced in the wake of a long past vessel, hidden
face down from the shadow echo spat out by fire
and the salt tears cried into walls. "salt" did little for me; struck me as unnecessary. Maybe "salt from tears"." I think it is stronger as a noun. Also agree with Aish on switching up the line breaks a bit

This is the month of the Hunter's moon
holding me captive
all your years. interesting. makes me want to know more

just some thoughts; I think you set the tone pretty well but I was left with a feeling that I had no one image to remember once I was finished.