10-05-2011, 08:21 PM
Patrick,
I think you have done a fine job with this. The language is curious in places but I mean that in a good way. There is a real unknown quality to the external predator. If I had to nitpick, a couple of times the rhymes come out of nowhere and seem a little forced. All in all I enjoyed reading. Thanks for the share.
I think you have done a fine job with this. The language is curious in places but I mean that in a good way. There is a real unknown quality to the external predator. If I had to nitpick, a couple of times the rhymes come out of nowhere and seem a little forced. All in all I enjoyed reading. Thanks for the share.