Parola

[Todd]

Hi Philatone,

I enjoyed the imagery in this piece. A few comments for you:

A word
Is a passion,
A single
Candlelit night
After a thunderstorm,
A firefly
In a just opened jar.--while I absolutely love the images here especially the firefly in a just opened jar (awesome), I don't find that these images in themselves contain a passion an infatuation maybe but a passion would seem to be a conflageration rather than a candle. Just my thoughts

This
Is a word.

It will not
Bring flowers
To your door
In a straw basket.--love the detail

It will not
Pay gratuity
In a restaurant
With change from its red purse.

A ferry,
It ships our children away
When it is time for them
To be buried
In slumber.

A bucket,
It draws embers
From the bottom of its well.--I really like this part. You expect water and what you get is embers. I like that it is its well. I like that words can ignite

A scar,
It fastens
Onto the cadence
Of your voice,--My favorite part of the poem. I love the idea of it.

And with
Every breath, every whisper
I cannot help
But think of a word

As a passenger boarding
On a crowding train--is on needed?
Destined to reach you
From me.

Very solid poem! Welcome to the forums!

Best,

Todd