10-02-2011, 09:38 AM
Billy, thanks, that's pretty constructive -- "to" would possibly work better than/ equal to "and", except that I have "to" two lines above 
I also have "and" starting a line in that stanza, I realise, but trying to keep reasonably correct grammar within the enjambment and still working in the prescribed words... well, it's bloody hard! I need to think of an alternative to "cleanse" I think, but it's not easy with the meter to think of either.
I also have "and" starting a line in that stanza, I realise, but trying to keep reasonably correct grammar within the enjambment and still working in the prescribed words... well, it's bloody hard! I need to think of an alternative to "cleanse" I think, but it's not easy with the meter to think of either.
It could be worse