Behind the Shroud

[ICSoria]

It is enough for me that you caught the main idea behind this poem—a song, as it were, in praise of my own merciful Muse—and it encourages me. I appreciate all comments positive or negative and if anyone has an idea how exactly I can tighten the meter, short of changing too many words or adding extraneous ones, I will consider it. I am still reading this as pentameter, albeit not perfectly iambic, but feel free to prove me wrong--honest critique does not offend me.

...in practice the use of modern words in a largely classical form as a suggestion and a poem is not the appropriate solution.

Bogpan, I do appreciate your analysis and opinion but we differ on this point. I choose not to follow pedantic theories that allow only classical language on classical metric form, for I consider at the time such forms were introduced, Sonneteers constructed them in the modern language of their day.
Thank you all for weighing in on this,

Sid