Doran (open door)

[billy]

Willingly, let me take you into a marital institution where man takes a woman and woman takes a man are the 'a's' needed?
There's an obsessive signifier at the front door sying [saying] wipe your dirt off before you enter [i take this as a metaphor for 'your past' and i think this stops it being simple prose.]
A media custom smile saying everything is fine and in control and an empty bottle of tranquilizers [tranquillizers] embarrassing the bathroom floor [great line and image, which again lifts the the piece from simple prose]
We enter the living room where everything is in it's masculine and feminine place
No sign of her mother's womb only an unconsciously designed grave
And the builders are laying the patio which the neighbours recommended
The music is switched on but long since ended
In the kitchen she was cutting the veg leaving a trace of a place in time, then they were lovers on the run 20 seconds into the pan then translucently burnt
She bought everything in his style, a kettle, a toaster, and four napkin ring holsters
We sit chronologically around the table an A was for the intellectually disabled, but no one ever asked her what she thought
We ate without experiencing a profound gaze or a nourishing crumb and aware of the monodic tone we leave in polite time
Where man takes a woman and woman takes a man, willingly

it's extremely hard for me to critique. but i'll try.

is the 'And' needed at the start of L 6? all the other lines are pretty much self contained, for me the 'and' seems out of place.
in places it feels as though a comma would help the flow (a nit, i know)
i read the piece as if it were a fly on the wall kind of thing describing the failure of the institution,

i do think if the form were broken down to smaller lines the reader would have time to digest what is being said easier, though again it's not that hard to read the piece as is.

on the whole i enjoyed the read, it felt poetic. it didn't look it but it felt it.
if you didn't go the way of breaking it down, maybe the opposite way of making it a block of writing (of any size) could be an option. i wish i could be more helpful with my feedback. jmo

thanks for the read.