08-17-2011, 05:19 AM
You subverter of Whitman, you :p
Many, many great lines here Jack -- my particular favourites are "Even then I knew this flesh I was expanding constantly could never one day satisfy the thing I yearn to please the most" and one I disliked intensely on first read, which is often a clue for me that there's a reason it evokes some kind of slightly offended response, "Homosexuality holds as many romantics as the bars where breeders group to write their destiny in chance." (Nothing anti-gay, I just bloody hate the word "breeders", but I expect I'm supposed to
Besides, I'm sure gay folk are called a whole lot worse than anything we nasty breeders have to deal with.)
So, both poem and format meet with my approval
Many, many great lines here Jack -- my particular favourites are "Even then I knew this flesh I was expanding constantly could never one day satisfy the thing I yearn to please the most" and one I disliked intensely on first read, which is often a clue for me that there's a reason it evokes some kind of slightly offended response, "Homosexuality holds as many romantics as the bars where breeders group to write their destiny in chance." (Nothing anti-gay, I just bloody hate the word "breeders", but I expect I'm supposed to
Besides, I'm sure gay folk are called a whole lot worse than anything we nasty breeders have to deal with.) So, both poem and format meet with my approval
It could be worse