08-04-2011, 03:02 PM
Switching it up worked really well... it makes for a really strong opening and continues to be riveting.
Not sure about the ending line though, seems an oddly benign observation to end on. But other than that, it's pretty cleverly done.
Not sure about the ending line though, seems an oddly benign observation to end on. But other than that, it's pretty cleverly done.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?