Beasts of Burden

[billy]

My friend the camel learned to fly in the wasteland. He
was golden with water dreams, but pockmarked
from the toes down and across his unshadowed page.
I didn’t know how to drink without a tongue and he
had forgotten how to be a cup.
i'm pretty sure this is a dream poem/song a opening show of you the 1st person being one with the beast hence beasts of course you could be dreaming of being part of all the camels, i'm enjoying looking at it from my first assumption

We learned in grey and salt. He would stamp on my spit
until it ran greening into parchment cracks or
– slitherwise as the taipan –
tricked the grass into bloom.
some excellent imagery, i take the grey salt being the residue of waters past, i'll be honest and say i'm not sure how the snake tricks grass into bloom but the image works non the less.

I watched him hollow, stretch, thin, sway,
muddy and cough. Sunsets tripped over his brow,
worn now to wax-bright whispering.
dehydration can have that effect, again i'm assuming; he's dying, great images, specially the 1st line

I found wings on the redgum’s bank, fluttering
out of waterlily reach. I frightened them, but he was close
behind to soothe. They tapped his shoulders and he smiled
his last drink for me.
for me this is the best verse within a great poem, the image of the butterfly on the trees along the riverbank is immense, and poignant.
it's as if they are the spirit, freeing him

one nit in an almost perfect poem.

the 'he'' at the end 1st line, for me the endjamb of it messes with the flow to much.

for me this is a publishable poem, i wish i could give more feedback but it's hard to find even an extra nit. excellent poem showing how the native aussie thinks. all jmo

thanks for the ride.