Despair
#6
(07-19-2011, 08:50 AM)Heslopian Wrote:  For all the beauties of the earth
I still seek out death's mystery.
I cannot find a thing of worth
for all the beauties of the earth,
not icebergs, sunlight, streets of Perth;
I am resigned to misery.
For all the beauties of the earth
I still seek out death's mystery.
you're becoming adept at these buggers.
if i had one nit it would be beauties. the word reminds me of women ( i know it could just be em :blush) would beauty work as well and be less ambiguous, not that ambiguity is bad, i just think in this instance it's less called for.

as to the poem..i think it's top notch. streets of perth was a stretch Big Grin but it works so i'm not complaining about it. jmo
thanks for the read.

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Messages In This Thread
Despair - by heslopian - 07-19-2011, 08:50 AM
RE: Despair - by Leanne - 07-19-2011, 09:04 AM
RE: Despair - by heslopian - 07-19-2011, 09:17 AM
RE: Despair - by Leanne - 07-19-2011, 09:20 AM
RE: Despair - by heslopian - 07-19-2011, 09:21 AM
RE: Despair - by billy - 07-19-2011, 10:02 AM
RE: Despair - by heslopian - 07-19-2011, 10:18 AM
RE: Despair - by ICSoria - 07-20-2011, 08:06 AM
RE: Despair - by heslopian - 07-20-2011, 08:08 AM
RE: Despair - by ICSoria - 07-20-2011, 02:00 PM
RE: Despair - by Leanne - 07-20-2011, 05:26 PM



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