Practising Critique on Dead Guys Who Can't Throw Tantrums Anymore...

[billy]

The Second Coming -- W. B. Yeats (1919)

Turning and turning in the widening gyre would 'with' work better than 'in' i like the use of gyre; even though it's archaic, it fits in with the content (the 2nd coming)
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere is the reiteration of loosed need, would another word work better.
The ceremony of innocence is drowned; love how this relates to the christening being irrelevant, or abused.
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
great verse which shows the world going to shit, through the use of metaphor. obviously the falconer is god and we are the falcon. it nicely shows how left to our own devices we turn rogue.

Surely some revelation is at hand; we know it's about the 2nd coming from revelations so is the actual word needed, would another leave us a little more thought?
Surely the Second Coming is at hand. the reiteration of surely works for me here. it makes me feel a need of urgency. i like it's use.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi had to google the latin phrase, it works well in showing the fallen as one entity. it also adds a biblical feel to the piece
Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand; wast feels a little forced
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun, this is my fave line.
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds. can one of the deserts be changed, would it help?

The darkness drops again but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep this line nicely dates the poem and tells us it's about gods death
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? not sure about the last four lines. i get the impression that 2nd coming may not be a good one. is the beast Armageddon, the apocalypse maybe

apart from a couple of nits the poem is very publishable.
the use of metaphor is excellently done. i see that waste is wasteland and that it was shortened to fit the meter, was just wondering if a small edit on that line would help. my personal preference when using grammar is to cap when needed. (but that's just me)
all in all a great write. all my suggestion are jmo to use or not as you see fit.
thanks for the read.