~oPuS~ Revison

[ficosdarkness]

I liked the "heart shaped box." I don't know if you meant it as a reference but it reminded me of the great Nirvana song nonetheless. This is quite a lovely stream-of-consciousness narrative. One suggestion I will make is that you try dividing it into verses, as then I feel it would be easier to digest. Also I don't get the idiosyncratic capitalisation in the title. All just my opinion of course. Other than those nits this is great. I love how the last line recalls the title, and the very personal landscape you convey here is strikingly vivid. You make private pain publicly accessible with enviable skill.

Jack,
Kurt Cobain is my main man, if he hadn't took himself out in that manner, I'd want to be a combo of him and Jim Morrison when I grow up! (with a touch of Elvis of course) The reason behind the "oPuS"... I wanted to hold on the the underlying possibility that there is music in all things and at the same time portray that the music at times can be a bit maniacal. In this piece I heard circus/carnival music in my head while writing it, I thought if I made the letters "catywampus" that would bring the reader in closer to the music? Verses are a good idea, thank you Jack. Thanks for reading the piece too... a little "welcome to my nightmare" bit for one and all. Cheers
fd