05-24-2011, 11:03 AM
the rhyme scheme you used is a must in this type of sonnet jack.
and yes you gave it a great shot.
that you strufggled with with making it fit the structure is what i was saying about the form is important.
one of the reasons many modern poets slip into the yoda speak when doing these sonnets is the very fact they're making words squeeze where they shouldn't, they reverse the foot of the iam or add words.
instead of
will you come to the ball, it ends up as
will you to the ball come. the reason they do it is so it fits a rhyme or often because they confuse sonnet as need yoda speak.
and yes you gave it a great shot.
that you strufggled with with making it fit the structure is what i was saying about the form is important.
one of the reasons many modern poets slip into the yoda speak when doing these sonnets is the very fact they're making words squeeze where they shouldn't, they reverse the foot of the iam or add words.
instead of
will you come to the ball, it ends up as
will you to the ball come. the reason they do it is so it fits a rhyme or often because they confuse sonnet as need yoda speak.