05-13-2011, 04:22 AM
Don't you mean "dragged" instead of "drags" in the first verse? Slight mix up of tenses there. Other than that this excellent. Rich with metaphor while also crisp in its storytelling. "Like old tears in reverse." That was my favourite line in the piece, an amzing simile, just beating out the image of the father, which though simply related sticks with me.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe