05-10-2011, 10:26 AM
from my pov the but would be better.
listen fd;
lets not blow this out of proportion. maybe it's just me who see the end in such a way.
at the end of the day you wrote a great poem. if you feel it needs an edit based on some feedback take your time about it
the other thing is this, maybe most of those who read this poem will
a) enjoy the dichotomy
or
b) not even notice it.
i think;
how could this be? feels too week.
listen fd;
lets not blow this out of proportion. maybe it's just me who see the end in such a way.
at the end of the day you wrote a great poem. if you feel it needs an edit based on some feedback take your time about it
the other thing is this, maybe most of those who read this poem will
a) enjoy the dichotomy
or
b) not even notice it.
i think;
how could this be? feels too week.
