By The Mill.

[heslopian]

Today, an April evening and long shadows

Poured onto the peppered slabs

Parched gold scraps broken through concrete patchwork

Behind the old tower blocks away by the docks,

Within the pale, gloom of this Easter, a bird I saw, drown Should that comma between "pale" and "gloom" be there?

By the old flour mill, where many years ago,

Tired slaves rose up on an Easter day Should an "and" go here?

Bestowed the walls a history place as blood and chains were shed

A sacrificial slaughter to feed the earth,

Who opened her jaws and swallowed a seed from their lives. Excellent image.

A struggle for life, the spluttering ripples passionately spewed

Serenaded by the gluttonous gulls, a crying throttle

Behind the monuments of the past, and the new Everything from "A struggle" to "the past" is perfect.

A touch of salt, and wet, stings the air; the sea is not far

Collapsing visions of collapsing swells, a snowdrift flaring

Fuming into inkblots, the haze and distorted hues vanish

By the futile flapping, the bird through the tar canal

Flying through treacle, clay upon wings,

Perhaps tricked by the comatose sky Excellent.

Paralysed, the bird dived, thinking carelessly of beyond, what lies

A gulf not easily passed, but by the skeletal wings,

And as the clay hardens and becomes heavy

“The sea is not far, will the bird reach the sea, and be free?”

I wonder, watching in perversity the poor body succumb,

The bird vanishing through the black-oil glass, dying

Below my feet, beside the rust-screeching train galloping

Into night. That last conjunction beginning with beside is fantastic.
_____________


Maybe for some context, it was written in Dublin, Ireland, and in reference to a real mill. Just a hint

Victor.

The only problem I can see with this rich and evocative piece is the strange syntax at times. Use a few full stops to mark off sentences and make them slightly simpler and this could be an almost perfect example of pure modern poetry.