04-23-2011, 08:52 AM
I can't see a thing wrong with this. Meter is more Billy's forte. I fear I'm somewhat of a savage in the company of kings when it comes to form, which is why I tend to comment on stuff like storytelling and metaphor, which were both impressive here. This is a wonderful portrait piece of a personality type. Look forward to seeing more of your work, Corinth.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe