The Sodomites

[billy]

make love and wrap it in cellophane for me.
my hand on the mattress, forging a groove –
secure it with starch so we’ll never forget –
your hand catching mine like a fleeing convict,
as your thick torso massages my spine
and you rest your lips against my neck.
let’s do what the comics always make light of,
but without those shit, tawdry punch lines,
the stupid questions about haemorrhoids,
lubricant and gender roles.
the mattress is ours, our consummation witness,
as if the love that we share was ever sacred.

two nits on what i found to be a great poem, the last two lines feel (to be honest) yucky a little bit. consummation doesn't cut it for me, i felt the poem best ended after roles
or change the last to lines.
my other nit is the title. i love the title 'the sodomites' the love song part gives a way to much,
very graphic, though i see no need for a content warning. (btw, you only need to say (content) ) just use one if it's full of expletives, extremely violent or not fit for human consumption in general.
it's original and has many good lines
i didn't find anything i'd change in the body of the poem apart as i say from the two nits.

thanks for the read jack.