03-13-2011, 07:54 AM
This is an excellent poem. Your vision is clear and enviably focused, with some great metaphors for what seems like a destructive but somehow co-dependant relationship. The only quibbles I can think of is that you spelled cadence slightly wrong ("c" should go where you put the "s") and the comma between "blood" and "coursing" isn't really needed.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe