02-25-2011, 01:46 PM
I really like your metaphor here, and how you turned it so dynamic and vital... the image was vivid and crisp in my mind as a reader. Like billy said, cyclical. I also love the reversal at the end. Good stuff.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?