02-16-2011, 11:03 PM
I love the opening couplet. It's quietly moving and strong.
Nice to see you publish a poem, DUBLIN, and this was a very pleasent little read. It reminds me slightly of this one by Hart Crane: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-name-for-all/ I have just three nits, two of which are purely grammatical. Firstly, that comma in the last line of the first stanza. Is it needed? Especially as there's no other punctuation in the piece. Secondly, in the first line of the third verse you write "get's"; it should be "gets." Lastly, "god's" needs a capital letter.
Nice to see you publish a poem, DUBLIN, and this was a very pleasent little read. It reminds me slightly of this one by Hart Crane: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/a-name-for-all/ I have just three nits, two of which are purely grammatical. Firstly, that comma in the last line of the first stanza. Is it needed? Especially as there's no other punctuation in the piece. Secondly, in the first line of the third verse you write "get's"; it should be "gets." Lastly, "god's" needs a capital letter.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe