01-21-2011, 02:04 PM
Liked this, but the first time I misunderstood the ending, and the intended meaning of that last line. Maybe there's a way to separate it or make it pop out more, so your meaning is clearer but really that's just my opinion. Overall it reads very well, and oddly not so raunchy and much more interesting 
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?