Whiskey, Romance and Poetry

[billy]

I don't drink--
I don't want you whiskey
If it doesn't comes from your lips
And I don't want your lips
If it isn't soaked in whiskey

Coz that's the only way
I can get through you... should it be, I can get through to you...

I don't believe in love--
(No, not anymore...)
I don't want your love
If it doesn't comes from your heart
And i don't want your heart
If it doesn't resonate my name...

Coz I'm tired of being the only one
who gets hurt...

I know, I'm not that smart--
I don't get your poetry
If it's not about me
And I don't want all of
your damn poetry
Because it's all about her

So just drink some more whiskey
for me, my love...

the grammar has been mentioned already;

i think the first verse is really good, the way you juxtapose it with the 2nd main verse works really well. i don't thing the parenthesise are needed. they come together in the last main verse in a simple yet effective rant. my only negative comment would be "coz"; for me 'because' would work much better as it would be more in keeping with the language of the poem.

for me this is one of those what you see is what you get poems that feels original. i can feel the recognition in it that something is better than nothing. considering the simplicity of the poem it carries a good bit of emotion within it.

well done Tn (jmo)