11-18-2010, 11:05 AM
There's a great rhythm to this, like spoken word. It's very engrossing the more I read it 
However, in its current form it really doesn't look like a poem at all, just chunks of paragraphs. If you cut them into phrases in the usual poetic form (lines and verses) this'll be a thousand times more readable.
Thanks for the post fd.

However, in its current form it really doesn't look like a poem at all, just chunks of paragraphs. If you cut them into phrases in the usual poetic form (lines and verses) this'll be a thousand times more readable.
Thanks for the post fd.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
