The Evil Within You I Adore.

[ficosdarkness]

I wanted to redeem myself for those things we did,
But when I hear you I can't stop myself,
A smile arrives like an evil toad,
In my throat and cuts my voice box,
I never intended it to be this tempestous,
Leave me alone now so I don't want you more,
There's a good boy, as I fall to the floor,
Don't look back, I'm just fine,
Like there was never a vicious crime,
And in full swing I can rhyme and feel,
All that took place doesn't seem real,
But I'd be better off going to sleep,
Unless all night I wish to weep,
And I know you hate these mushy tales,
But everything else in my brain simply fails,
You're the one that makes me feel,
The one that makes me ache,
Is that a good enough way
To say I loved you too?

_____________
First Poem on this site.

As a whole I really dig your flow. Ln 13 "Unless all night I wish to weep, sounds forced to me, just a little.The wording is Archaic(old style english) and since we speak differently now, it feels forced. Other than that, good job! I enjoyed the read!