10-30-2010, 09:10 AM
Thanks for posting this... simple but passionate. Agree that there are quite a few filler words you won't miss deleting ("the cause and it's effect" could be just "the cause and effect", for instance)
Also, just imo. I felt that the second to last stanza would've been a stronger finish to the poem than the actual last stanza (at least those last few lines)
Again, thanks for the read
Also, just imo. I felt that the second to last stanza would've been a stronger finish to the poem than the actual last stanza (at least those last few lines)
Again, thanks for the read
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
