Real Love

[ficosdarkness]

Hi fico,

It's good to see your posts. I'm looking forward to reading and commenting on your poems. I have some very general thoughts for this one.

In the 20+ years I've been actively writing poetry, I've written very few love poems. It's not because they're a bad topic far from it they're one of the most common reasons people try to express themselves in a poem. I haven't written many because they are so hard to pull off well. I'm not saying its wrong in any way for you to make the attempt. There are two things to keep in mind when you do it though either as Billy mentioned restrict directly mentioning love and hit the topic from an angle...or mention it but then follow up with imagery. Let the images describe the love you're talking about. By way of example, because I don't want to put this in your poem's thread, I included a poem in the Poetry Discussion Forum by Jacques Prevert called This Love. Unlike your poem it is free verse so it won't have the rhyme you use (nothing wrong with rhyme by the way you just need to make sure that you aren't forcing the syntax to accomodate the rhyme). Prevert's poem mentions love directly but note how many images he uses to describe what This Love looks like--something to think about.

Here's the link to the other forum post: http://pigpenpoetry.com/showthread.php?tid=1555&page=3

I hope the poem and these thoughts will be helpful to you. I would "love" to see you develop this poem more as you give it more thought.

Best to you,

Todd

Thank you, Todd. I'm going to give it a shot, for sure. Every little bit of advice I get is taken in and applied. (as long as I can get my mind around it) I'm on the way to read the poem and you have been of great help! Again, for real thank you much for your input.