10-22-2010, 11:35 AM
Great poem Lizzy. Lots of lines her that worked very well. "She dances under God's eyes" really struck me... just beautiful!
Some few problem spots, like the repetition of "and" (which from what I see aren't really necessary), but overall a solid, lovely work. Also the line:
With the heavens looking over her she beats her wings majestically.
A fallen angel crying out gracefully.
Both of them having adjectives at the end was a little distracting, but it might be just me. Doesn't really detract much from the poem.
Great job!
Some few problem spots, like the repetition of "and" (which from what I see aren't really necessary), but overall a solid, lovely work. Also the line:
With the heavens looking over her she beats her wings majestically.
A fallen angel crying out gracefully.
Both of them having adjectives at the end was a little distracting, but it might be just me. Doesn't really detract much from the poem.
Great job!
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?