06-26-2010, 02:35 PM
(06-26-2010, 10:28 AM)Loveblind Wrote: I tend to stay away from writing love poems. And leave it up to experts. Because, I've never experienced or been in love. So, I wouldn't know what to say. To me, it seems like you're a beginner. Which is no problem. We all have to start some place. Anyway, it's not that love poems aren't good, they are usually cliche. And cheesy. Certain words you should avoid.. "heart, pieces.. and etc.. This seems to me someone who experienced unrequited love? and is suffering a broken heart. It would have been better, had it been a metaphor.lol yes i am a beginner... I've tried to be different, you know without being so cliche but I guess I need to work on that... lol you know, you got me there with the unrequited word. I had to look it up but yes, It is about someone that is heart broken.. but is confused because he has tried several times to "win her back" but she doesn't want him anymore. He doesn't know what to do, whether to look for her love or to just drop it.
Your poem has potential , yet lacks. It lacks imagery(which is very important) especially in Love poems(IMO) though. Also, you need to structure your poem better. Decide if you want stanza's or what? Fix this up and you're good.
Loveblind.
And when she notices that he is gone for good then she will feel like the fool cause she will know she had something good and lost it. Since she didnt forgive him for what he did to her, he thinks that she never loved him cause he thought their love was big enough to forget and says he was being a fool all along..
hahah i didnt want to interpret that but i didnt have nothing better to do..lol jk and sorry for the run on sentences jajathx for the comment and suggestions man i appreciate it...