06-10-2010, 05:42 PM
Like the idea. And the term dragonsbreath gives it a different undercurrent. Like the mountain is sleepy but alive, and maybe grumbling...
"Man is the bringer of calamity
or the maker of peace"
I don't think these two lines tie into the poem very well... so imo I'd replace it. Just a thought.
"Man is the bringer of calamity
or the maker of peace"
I don't think these two lines tie into the poem very well... so imo I'd replace it. Just a thought.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?