11-02-2026, 06:37 AM
Hi, Rob, while I like the imagery this one sticks in a few places. Some notes:
(11-01-2026, 02:09 AM)robdaley Wrote: Mid-argument,So as you can see, after multiple reads I'm still confused. Maybe it will come together for someone else.
she presents the paper
as if it were a sword --
"Sign".
Which I do.
I'm not a fan of mid-argument. The papers are drawn and both parties are willing to sign, why continue to argue? Though maybe some couples do.
I pour hot sake
into my cup and watch
the steam.
She shuts the shoji, opens
the bedside drawer
This puts me in their space.
where I placed
her Japanese moccasin.
So I was lost as to the meaning of this until I read your comment. So you could use Mamushi but then you lose the double meaning of moccasin, maybe if you capitalize Moccasin I might have wondered and looked it up, too late to know now.
But on to the meaning. So this is a murder, not an agreement. I'm confused with I/Her, the Narrator (let’s say He) places her own snake in the drawer, she usually keeps it elsewhere and hasn't noticed it missing? And if it's hers it may not be a danger to her, foiled again. It's really too much to ask of me to come up with something else of hers that can kill her, above my pay grade.


