Yesterday, 07:33 AM
i loved it, BUT…
The mind’s landscaping is a bit mixed up
Who is the recluse? A Christian hermit? The desert walls and genies in their tents are all fine but I can’t understand the sheets of falling water there.
Not a Christian hermit? Just a guy with no friends? Not interesting enough
We need more about the narrator, either consistency in the surroundings that hint at an identity, or something else, to make this otherwise fine poem have relevance.
The mind’s landscaping is a bit mixed up
Who is the recluse? A Christian hermit? The desert walls and genies in their tents are all fine but I can’t understand the sheets of falling water there.
Not a Christian hermit? Just a guy with no friends? Not interesting enough
We need more about the narrator, either consistency in the surroundings that hint at an identity, or something else, to make this otherwise fine poem have relevance.