09-21-2026, 10:07 PM
In order to critique this fairly, I'd have to know how much of the form was transferred from the original as opposed to determined by the translator. As a translator myself I've found that it's possible to translate the words closely and still utterly change the meaning conveyed, by modifying the form and presentation of a poem - indeed this usually happens when translating strictly literally. It's sometimes better in places to distort the semantics (or even the local meaning) in order to maintain the form.