A modest life
#3
(08-18-2026, 03:30 PM)matsunosuperfan Wrote:  
(08-18-2026, 11:36 AM)busker Wrote:  A modest life 

I have suffered, not greatly,
but modest little things
only. Not born during a raid,
orphaned at an early age,
nor grown to be cut down too soon,
but a life of a long afternoon,
at its end, tea in a set
laid out for friends not yet
fallen into a swoon,
and at night, a dog 
whose face is in the moon.
I would omit the article in "a long afternoon"
Lovely little poem, really precise
Agree wholeheartedly - holds up a mirror, it does.  Might consider changing one of the "a's" on that line to "the" or better.
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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Messages In This Thread
A modest life - by busker - 08-18-2026, 11:36 AM
RE: A modest life - by matsunosuperfan - 08-18-2026, 03:30 PM
RE: A modest life - by dukealien - 08-18-2026, 09:30 PM
RE: A modest life - by purplie - 08-19-2026, 07:24 PM
RE: A modest life - by wasellajam - 08-20-2026, 09:17 AM



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