A Sketch

[milo]

This opening sentence:

"Indeed, as Elia was told, the girl
around whom he too slowly realized
much of his recent upset did revolve
was already at home, already dressed
in what the lady "

Is one of the clumsiest I have ever read. I didn't read all the way through mostly because of this, I would recommend reading through and making clear direct prose.

Thanks for posting.