06-17-2026, 10:47 PM
idk man ngl I was pretty bored the whole time
way too still life for my taste
couldn't find any thread of interest to attach to, and the rhyme is so thudding and plain
also every stanza follows the same syntax which adds to the droning feel
there's so little direct sensibility that the poem feels like a riddle/puzzle
personally I don't like it when that happens
and because everything is a generalized declarative, I never feel like I *am* anywhere
all the imagery and action is abstracted, with the result that "there's no there there"
the lack of immediacy and particularity also makes it hard for me to buy the "we" address
who is this "we"
it seems similarly vague and abstracted, hence unconvincing
the project reads p pretentious and self-involved to me as a whole. maybe it's just not to my taste <3
I did like the bit of figuration with "veins" thought that was a strong move
way too still life for my taste
couldn't find any thread of interest to attach to, and the rhyme is so thudding and plain
also every stanza follows the same syntax which adds to the droning feel
there's so little direct sensibility that the poem feels like a riddle/puzzle
personally I don't like it when that happens
and because everything is a generalized declarative, I never feel like I *am* anywhere
all the imagery and action is abstracted, with the result that "there's no there there"
the lack of immediacy and particularity also makes it hard for me to buy the "we" address
who is this "we"
it seems similarly vague and abstracted, hence unconvincing
the project reads p pretentious and self-involved to me as a whole. maybe it's just not to my taste <3
I did like the bit of figuration with "veins" thought that was a strong move