06-16-2026, 10:26 PM
edit2;
Small Memoriam II
He was no pet: a common long-tailed mouse
who got inside somehow, but in my house
that little presence made me feel unkind
for plotting his demise. He’d watch behind
me as I typed until I saw him, too,
then flee when noticed. Though I hatched a few
ideas how to catch him, he was smart–
he’d lick the bait from traps but always dart
away on weightless feet, uncaught and free,
declined a private room (my live-catch trap),
approved noir cinema, left tiny crap
on floors, chewed into food up on a shelf
above my head. I couldn’t help myself,
and, being human, bought technology:
glue pads eluded prey psychology.
I see him from the corner of my eye–
his ghost, it must be, mouse that had to die.
And that is best for him and me, I lie.
Thanks to all the additional critics. I'm reserving the first edit (partly because @wasellajam like it), but have tried to implement the criticisms and suggestions here. Including a modified limited hang-out of how I got the little guy but reserving the ugly details.
Frankly, I liked this better when it was a bit lighter - that's probably why I put it in Basic. It now seems kind of flat, though there's still some padding in evidence.
Small Memoriam II
He was no pet: a common long-tailed mouse
who got inside somehow, but in my house
that little presence made me feel unkind
for plotting his demise. He’d watch behind
me as I typed until I saw him, too,
then flee when noticed. Though I hatched a few
ideas how to catch him, he was smart–
he’d lick the bait from traps but always dart
away on weightless feet, uncaught and free,
declined a private room (my live-catch trap),
approved noir cinema, left tiny crap
on floors, chewed into food up on a shelf
above my head. I couldn’t help myself,
and, being human, bought technology:
glue pads eluded prey psychology.
I see him from the corner of my eye–
his ghost, it must be, mouse that had to die.
And that is best for him and me, I lie.
Thanks to all the additional critics. I'm reserving the first edit (partly because @wasellajam like it), but have tried to implement the criticisms and suggestions here. Including a modified limited hang-out of how I got the little guy but reserving the ugly details.
Frankly, I liked this better when it was a bit lighter - that's probably why I put it in Basic. It now seems kind of flat, though there's still some padding in evidence.
Non-practicing atheist