(06-05-2026, 04:01 PM)matsunosuperfan Wrote: Real Hair Don’t MeltI liked reading this, had to read it a few times to try and feel it as a whole.
Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls
around like a roaring lion, looking for someone
to devour. —1 Peter 5:8
Once again Penelope is eating my tomatoes, the pink
guffaw of her remorseless gluttony alarms me 'pink guffaw of her remorseless gluttony' is interesting, but I think may be too wordy and not concrete enough for me to really picture/touch/taste/feel the description?
from my bed and into yet another sheet
of dripping disappointment. It’s raining I don't think you need the 'of' at the start of this line.
in the backyard, but
not out front, which makes sense
if you think about it: dipping the oar backward
makes the boat scoot off ahead. A schooner is often
said to cut through water but it’s more like folding, whistling
through your gap tooth, or continuously
braiding hair. People don’t see movies for This schooner sentence is very nice.
the kiss, we want Godzilla. Eat your heart out, Humphrey. When I was a little I like this line, but it seems like there could be some better line breaks?
girl, I dreamed of having a sweet pig to call
my own. Griselda would be pot-bellied, with silk lashes
like custard and she’d have a golden mane which I would pass
the hours when I wasn’t being slowly murdered
by myself weaving into baguette plaits. To be clear, Penelope 'which I would pass the hours when I wasn't slowly being murdered by myself weaving into baguette plaits' - this is pretty wordy, I think you could say it in a way that would be more enjoyable to read.
is nothing like this dream. Her kingdom is all rage
and jowls, a bowling over you don’t even realize
has happened, only that the sky is suddenly
where your shoes used to be. Godly Mrs. Helsaple, I like this kingdom sentence.
bird-dogging her apricot
Brown Betty cooling on the sill is famously still sore
about her hip, and will be until
she mercifully dies. She forgets her home address, which pill
to take this morning, and her seventeen
grandchildren’s names, and her husband
passed away and it was days before
she noticed, but a quarter or a grudge that woman
clings to like a nose ring. I’d love to give I like 'clings to like a nose ring' a lot, nice simile. I think the two 'and hers' and then the 'and' and 'but' - a lot stuffed in to this sentence and it doesn't quite work for me. I like a long run on sentence sometimes.
Penelope a good piece of my brain, an apple ripe
with maggots. Does my despair mean nothing
to her, I ask with my hands spread
like a pussy—alas, my doe-eyed axman has no word
for that which we call sadness, or anything like shame. Some days
she is fed to bursting, some nights she goes hungry. It always goes
the same: each time I slide the shed door open, she pricks up her ears
as if expecting death and grins. Interesting ending.
The title made me think of a black woman's weave, and the gap tooth and braid part furthered that.
I couldn't make out one clear, whole interpretation - obviously, the comparison of the imaginary ideal and the disappointing reality is there, and the threat to the real pig hovering etc - couldn't coalesce into one clear thing for me, but that's not really an issue.
It was thought provoking and interesting, and I enjoyed reading it.

